Friday, August 22, 2014

An Anonymous Letter to a Birth Mother

Dear Birth Mother,

Recently, as I picked my son up from Mother's Day Out, his teacher said, "Simon is just so sweet.  He is so nice and is the same to everyone."  My first thought was not to thank God for such a wonderful boy, or to pat myself on the back for raising a loving child. No, my first thought was the same prayer I've repeated many times, "Thank you, Laura, for not aborting him."

Laura is my child's birthmother.  She was a teenager when she became pregnant, and her home life was difficult.  I imagine that abortion may have seemed to her like a good idea, perhaps the easiest way out of her situation.  But she chose LIFE- and that made all the difference to us- and for Simon.

Sometimes I just look in wonderment at Simon.  Tears rise as the thought crosses my mind: What if he had never existed?  Had she aborted him, our family—and even strangers—would not know the joy that Simon brings. We’d have missed out on his infectious laugh, his jubilant renditions of “Rocky Top” (even to a crowd in the grocery store), and his thought-provoking questions. His wonder and curiosity about the world around him makes us see things in a different light.

Other times I think about what might have been had Laura kept him.  Would he be happy?  Would she have been able to provide for him the stability he needs?  Would he be hungry? Would he be afraid?

I never thought I would be able to have children.  We adopted Simon when he was a few days old, and we were content with having just him.  Surprisingly, however, I discovered I was pregnant last fall. And finally, I got a glimpse of the ultimate compassion and sacrifice of a birthmother who gives up her baby to a forever family.

Throughout my pregnancy, I kept thinking what it would be like to have a baby growing inside of me, knowing that I would give it up.  Being pregnant was almost indescribable to me.  I felt somehow chosen to bear this new life - What an enormous responsibility! I was in awe of the changes in my body and the constant flood of emotions from elation to apprehension. I imagine that Laura felt all of these things-and more.  I imagine she felt anxiety during the decision making process, fear of making the wrong decision, despair over the responsibility and change in her life, and perhaps personal grief

But should you give your baby to a forever family, I hope that you feel
·         Peace, in knowing that your baby will go to a family who can provide for their emotional and financial security.
·         Blessed,in knowing that although your pregnancy may have been a mistake, your baby is not a mistake.  That baby was meant to be in someone's family, and you are blessed to be the giver of such a gift.
·         Empowerment, in knowing that you can bring a family together forever.
·         Contentment,in knowing that you made the right decision for your baby and yourself.
·         Love, knowing that one day your child will grow to understand your loving sacrifice, while appreciating the love and gratefulness of the adoptive family.

We named our second son Asa, which means "healer."  Every moment of discomfort or pain during the pregnancy, birth, and recovery was worth it.  And when I see Simon kiss the head (or toe) of his chubby brother, I am immeasurably grateful for this family that was meant to be. 

Abortion or single parenting is not your only option; choosing adoption for your baby could be the best gift ever. When I was pregnant I had this letter—this message—already forming. Perhaps I was allowed to have Asa so that I could reach out to you to save a baby’s life from abortion or be a small part of bringing a forever family together.

You are not alone.  There are agencies out there who will envelop you in love and support you each step of the way.  They will help to make your sacrifice worthwhile.  Your choice impacts not only you, but also your baby and a potential family.  Please choose LIFE and allow a forever family the indescribable gift of happiness like Laura gave to us.

A Blessed Mom

Adoption Agencies:

Family Adoption Services (This is the one we used and can’t say enough great things about them).

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