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| Newborn Bo snuggles with Mama |
by Erin Mize, guest blogger
At midnight, with fast, irregular contractions, I called my
doula, Hannah. My body felt wildly out
of control. She was calm and reassuring,
telling me to take a shower, relax, and if they persisted, to call her
back. If not, she encouraged me to try
to rest.
My heart was racing with excitement as I got undressed to get
into the shower. I caught a glimpse of
myself in the mirror; cheeks flushed and out-of-breath from the struggle to
remove my socks. I stopped, turning my
bountiful belly straight-on to the mirror and smiled. I marveled at my body’s miraculous work,
swelling to accommodate and sustain this new life. I felt strong and capable.
After a few minutes in the shower, sure enough, my contractions
slowed. Before I even knew it, my mind
had quieted and I decided to dry off and try to rest. Fortunately, I was able to sleep until about
3:30 AM when I awoke to 10 minute-apart contractions that weren't really any
stronger than before, yet I intuitively knew these were purposeful. The whole of my uterus would tighten, not
just the top like during Braxton-Hicks, and my sacrum down through my thighs
ached.
I was tossing and turning in our king sized bed so I quietly
moved into the living room, leaving Andy asleep. I didn't wake him just yet. He would need to be rested to take care of
our 3 and 4 year old children, and to be perfectly honest, I wanted to labor free from
his concern. I needed to let go and
succumb to this process, so I took advantage of the quiet.
In my sleepy, yet excited state, I went to the shower. I knew the hot water would help. I immediately relaxed. I breathed in the steam slowly as I propped
myself against the shower wall letting the full force of the spray concentrate
on my sacrum. I thought about my baby,
Bo, working right along with me. As I
rocked my hips slowly back and forth, I visualized him descending through my
body while I intentionally relaxed my mouth, shoulders, arms, back, and
pelvis. “Here we go, little one,” I
whispered. I wanted to make his descent
as easy as I could.
When I returned to the living room, the TV was on, and one of
those cheesy infomercials selling '60's music CDs played. I wasn't watching it. I just needed it on to give my mind some
distraction. I curled up on the couch
and was even able to sleep a little between contractions.
All of the lights were out in the house except the glow from
the TV, and it was otherwise silent. I
continued in this early stage of labor peacefully as my family slept. I was in total control, calm and comfortable. I wasn't afraid. I didn't feel alone. I felt safe and able to relax into my labor
in my home, relishing this time with my baby, just the two of us, doing our
work together.
As my labor progressed, I was no longer comfortable lying on my side through
contractions. As one would start, I would get up and stand with my head on my
arms, resting over the arm of the couch and swaying my hips back-and-forth
through the contractions, consciously relaxing my mouth and muscles and
visualizing my baby easing down.
After my second trip to the bathroom, I recognized that my body
was “voiding” and I had a feeling it was time to get everybody up and on the
road for the 40 mile trip to the hospital from our home in Hartselle. I did not look forward to the impending road
trip or the bright, unfamiliar hospital delivery room, full of strangers, that
awaited me. Would my doctor be on-call
or would a stranger deliver my baby?
Would I get a nurse that was educated about and supportive of natural
birth? Would my birth plan be
respected? It would have been so nice to
have made one phone call and had a midwife show up at my door with the same
supplies that a level one hospital stocks, but unfortunately, assisted home birth
remains illegal in Alabama.
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| Andy and Hannah helped Erin maintain her focus. |
I'd like to take a brief detour here for a moment to point out
that actually, home birth is legal in
Alabama. More specifically, unassisted
home birth is legal in Alabama. Oddly
enough, I could have had my baby at home, but I most certainly could not have
had a trained attendant, like a Certified Professional Midwife, on hand to
ensure that my baby and I remained healthy and safe. Just for being present she could be charged with a
class C misdemeanor. Additionally,
because Alabama does not license or regulate CPM's, she could not have easily
transferred my care to a hospital or carried the life-saving equipment that she
needs and can use legally to attend home births in 31 other states. Therefore, after laboring at home without incident, I
woke my family up to go to the hospital so my birth could be attended by an
OBGYN, a specialist.
Before I woke the boys, I made their chocolate milk, just as I
did every morning; except this time, I paused to work through strong
contractions while I rested on the kitchen countertop. I made my way into the boys' room and with
muted excitement said, “This is it guys!
You're going to meet your baby brother today!”
I woke Andy and told him it was "for real" and we
needed to get to the hospital. I called
and let Hannah know how it was going.
After I paused our conversation to work through a contraction, she
confirmed what I suspected, that my labor was advancing nicely. She expertly advised that we meet at my
parents’ home prior to going to the hospital so we didn't arrive right at shift
change. I agreed, and Andy and I loaded
the boys up and got on the road.
It was about 5:30 in the morning, pitch black, and starry. I remember the boys sleepily singing
"twinkle-twinkle little star” as my contractions came and went. This time, however, I didn't have the luxury
of moving around to work through them. I
pulled at the seat belt to move it away from my taut abdomen and writhed and
twisted in a vain attempt to alleviate the pain in my back. Each passing mile marker seemed a reminder of
my distress as Andy raced to our destination.
I was beginning to panic. It took
everything in me to suppress my instinct to move my body freely through these
contractions.
We finally rounded the corner in my parents’ neighborhood, and I was filled with relief at the sight of Hannah’s car parked in front of their
home. Andy got the boys out while I went
up the stairs as quickly as I could to labor in the shower until we would go
over to the hospital.
I turned the water to almost as hot as it would go. The relief was immediate. Slowly breathing in the steamy air, I began
getting my labor back under control. I visualized the water softening my
tissues and gently encouraging my baby out as I slowly swayed through the
awesome pressure. How I would have loved
to have had a water birth! Unfortunately, hospital policy in my area prohibits
the practice. But, I knew that I would
be allowed to labor in the tub or shower until my water broke.
Thank God for Hannah!
She took the lead on thinking out the timing of our arrival. All I had to do was labor.
We pulled up to the valet stand, and I remember feeling strange
about the security guard approaching me with a wheelchair. I got out of the car looking behind me for
the patient that needed this apparatus, even willing to help him or her into
it. Then, of course, it dawned on me that it was meant for me. Even though it
felt rather unnecessary, and I certainly didn't identify as a “patient,” I
obliged the helpful parking attendant.
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| First Feed |
While I couldn't help but feel like a diva waving a birth plan with a lavender-scented,
birth stool-carrying Doula in tow, the hospital staff and nurses never treated
me as such! We were greeted warmly and
taken straight into a labor/delivery/postpartum room. I had pre-registered and therefore was able
to get through the intake paperwork quickly with Andy's help. To my amazement, my labor and delivery nurse
was actually trained as a Certified Nurse Midwife! And let me tell you, the care she gave me exemplified
a midwife's model of care. She was
respectful and supportive of my choice to birth unmedicated. She read my birth plan diligently and then
asked before she did anything including waiting to start my hep-locked IV until
after a contraction.
My doula was calmly unpacking her bag-of-tricks and making the
room more comfortable by lowering the lights, playing soothing music, and
starting the lavender. Hannah’s presence
calmed the frenetic pace of the hospital, and her attention to detail made the
unwelcoming hospital room homey. In a
way, she represented my conscious self that, in the throes of labor, I had
distanced myself from. Her presence of
mind was invaluable.
I continued laboring unencumbered from an IV or continuous
fetal monitoring. I drank when I was
thirsty, remained in the clothes I came in, and moved about freely. In fact, I didn’t get into the hospital bed
until after I had given birth! Andy sat
at the foot of the bed and I rested my arms and head across his lap between
contractions. I was most comfortable on
the exercise ball and during contractions I would roll my hips in big circles
while Hannah applied counter pressure to my sacrum and Andy gently encouraged
and loved on me.
My nurse asked if I'd like my cervix checked for dilation and
being that my water hadn't broken yet, I allowed her to examine me. Believe it or not, I was actually a little
concerned that the exam would reveal that I was only a few centimeters dilated.
Much to my surprise, I was fully dilated!
However, I did not feel the strong urge to push as I did during the
birth of my second child and I speculate that it was related to the fact that
my membranes (and amniotic fluid) were still intact.
My nurse indicated that she would call the doctor, and that she
may break my water upon her arrival. My
doula sensed my hesitation and encouraged me to discuss with the doctor the
risks and benefits of doing so.
Interestingly, my doctor never brought it up.
At some point I remember saying "I could push",
emphasis on the could. Hannah asked if I'd given any thought to what
position I'd like to push in. Believe it
or not, it wasn't until I hired her for the birth of my 3rd baby that I learned
there are many pushing positions a woman can assume to birth her baby, the
least efficient of which is lying flat on her back with her feet in stirrups
and knees in the air.
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| Big Brother gets to hold baby Bo |
I had learned through my research that an upright birthing
position would allow gravity to aid in bringing my baby down and out as well as
allowing my uterus to contract more strongly and efficiently. Staying off of my back would keep my aorta
from being compressed and, in turn, help my baby to stay oxygenated. Also, it would allow my sacrum to expand
backwards, increasing my pelvic outlet.
Hannah gently encouraged me to go with what felt “right,” and I
confidently replied that I'd like to use the birth stool. She went straight to work getting it
prepared.
It was no time at all before I took my place on the vinyl
cushioned wooden stool. I was sitting
with my knees a comfortable distance apart and bent to slightly less than a 90
degree angle. My OBGYN patiently sat
cross legged in the floor in front of me, my doula behind me, and Andy at my
side with my nurse observing attentively.
And then we waited. I was eager to meet
my baby, my third son, and in stark contrast to my other unmedicated birth, I
just didn't have a strong urge to push!
I knew to wait for my body to “do its thing” but I was growing
impatient! Hannah reassured me that I
was “laboring down” beautifully so I closed my eyes and waited patiently.
My water finally broke as my OBGYN was doing perineal massage
with mineral oil and applying a warm compress.
At this point my contractions began to intensify.
I believe it was about eight contractions later that I began
feeling pressure on my perineum and Andy commented that he could see the top of
Bo’s head through the amniotic sac, and yet I still didn't have a strong urge
to push or a ton of pain as you might think.
Now don't get me wrong, it was no walk in the park, but once I resigned
myself to the necessity of the contractions, that they were working for and
with me to bring my baby to me, I embraced them as part of the physiological
design.
My favorite part of my labor happened next: Hannah whispered to me, “reach down and feel
your baby.” I tentatively reached down
and felt my baby’s velvety soft head beginning to emerge.
As I pushed along with a contraction, I heard my doctor quietly
and calmly say, "his head is out.” I was shocked and caught off guard.
With renewed purpose I let out a primal groan with my next, final
contraction and all 8 lbs, 12 oz of my baby boy was out and on my chest! I remember hearing someone exclaim, “He's
big!” which surprised me because I didn't feel like I had worked that hard to
get him out.
Bewildered, I questioned, "that's it?"
Hannah helped me out of my dress so I could get Bo skin to skin. I had my baby in my arms. He was so calm. He stared right into my eyes, never breaking
his gaze, as mine filled with tears.
I'll never forget this moment. In
a strange way, I recognized him. I'd
never laid eyes on him, of course, but I felt like, “oh, there you are.”
My body had not only created and grown this little life, but
brought him forth into our world, or earth side, as Hannah affectionately said
as she welcomed him.
I felt as though I had come full circle. Rather than handing the process over as I had
during the highly medicalized and, for me, detached birth of my oldest son, I
had embraced the process. Instead of
placing my childbirth in the hands of the hospital staff, this time I had a
plan and then trusted my instincts and my body to do what it was Divinely
designed to. I learned that I could not
put the burden of a safe childbirth squarely on the shoulders of my chosen
birth attendant. I must be accountable
for educating myself and then carefully choosing who would attend my birth.
If my three radically different childbirth experiences taught
me nothing else, they showed me that there is no "right” way to birth, but there is a
right way to treat a laboring woman: with respect. There are many factors at play, and sometimes
the choices are very limited. The most important part is that we are informed
and respected in our choices.
I evolved with my experiences to guide me, and my expectation of
birth changed. I learned what it could be with the right preparation and
careful consideration of who was present at my births.
I found the Alabama Birth Coalition about six months postpartum
as I continued to process the impact my first two children’s births had on me and our
family. That's when I learned that for
more than 13 years, ABC has fought to give families in Alabama the right to
choose Certified Professional Midwives for their maternity care and safe home birth.
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| Everybody is so happy that Bo is here! |
I had three hospital births:
a medicalized, an unintentional unmedicated, and finally a planned
natural birth. Many variables aligned in
my favor to achieve the above described birth.
Yes, with careful preparation and crossed fingers, you can have a
beautiful, natural hospital birth. However, consider one thing: hospitals by
their very nature are not designed to embrace healthy physiology. On the other hand, they expertly save the
lives of high risk mothers and babies every day, but the anticipation of
abnormality is palpable for a healthy laboring woman and unfortunately can
often lead to unnecessary interventions.
I believe that the future of maternity care in our state can
and should include out of hospital birth options for healthy women Home birth isn’t for every family, but we owe
it to the futur
e of birthing women in a our state to at least allow them this
choice. I firmly believe I could have
easily had my baby in the comfort of my home had I been able to do so safely with a CPM.
I am proud to now be a part of the Alabama Birth Coalition and
their effort to introduce legislation that will finally let Certified
Professional Midwives legally attend home births in Alabama and thereby give us
real choices regarding our maternity care.
Educate yourself, know your choices, and hire a Doula!
This is why an IBCLC offers the Gold Standard of breastfeeding support. The experience and knowledge base required to become an IBCLC make her the ideal person to teach your breastfeeding class and support you through your breastfeeding journey. We are very fortunate to have many amazing IBCLC's in North Alabama. Huntsville Hospital has 13 IBCLC's on staff; Madison Hospital has 4 on staff; Crestwood Medical Center has 3 on staff; and Athens Limestone Hospital has 2 on staff. Additionally, there are IBCLC's in private practice as well as in physicians' offices. Huntsville Pediatric Associates employs an IBCLC. And, of course, when you get breastfeeding support at A Nurturing Moment, you are receiving IBCLC support.
